Getting Back on the Horse After a Writing Setback
Updated: 5 days ago
Have you ever missed a day on Duolingo, lost your streak, and deleted the app instead of just . . . starting over?
That same instinct shows up with budgeting, dieting . . . and writing. One unfocused morning or episode of writer’s block feels like proof the whole effort is failing, so writers give up.
Psychologists call this the abstinence violation effect. It refers to a black-and-white, all-or-nothing mindset. People stuck in this way of thinking tend to abandon an entire goal after a single setback, asking themselves, “What’s the point? I’ve already failed, so I may as well just give up altogether” and engaging in negative self-talk. When this affects your everyday goals, like writing a certain number of words each day or completing a chapter by the end of the month, it impedes success.
The thing that turns a single misstep into a full surrender is how we explain it to ourselves.
When you blame one of your fixed traits, failure feels certain. “I am so unfocused in the mornings. I’ll never finish writing this chapter!”
It’s easier to bounce back if you pinpoint what went wrong. Adjust that part of the plan. “I am so unfocused in the mornings, but I have to force myself to stop writing at dinnertime. I should try doing my afternoon tasks in the morning and my writing in the afternoon.”
This mindset turns your “slip” into valuable feedback about your plan itself, rather than a personal judgment about you.
Break the cycle
Name the specific reason. A slip tied to a clear cause (“I didn’t plan out this scene enough before I tried to write it”) is easier to learn from than a vague one (“I've been writing and rewriting this scene for days. What is wrong with me?”).
Restart small. Just take the next step. “I need to flesh out this chapter outline, so I’ll work on that instead today.”
Use good days and weeks to level up. When you’re on a roll, raise your expectations of yourself. “Wow, I already wrote 1,000 words? I’m really into this scene, so I’ll keep going.”
Drop the guilt. Self-compassion leads to better follow-through than shame does.
Those who are kind to themselves after a perceived failure stick to their goals better afterward than people who are left to feel guilty. Don’t let one bad day (or week or month) end your writing journey. Take the time you need and get back on the horse when you’re ready.
